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Once again, I find myself at the crossroads of
life!!
Why doesn't life cease to confuse me even though
I've given up on it??
Why does it still come up with new surprises and makes them even more obvious exactly when I’m trying to ignore them??
Why does it put forward choices which I don’t feel like making anymore n yet don’t feel like losing??
True! Life gets all the more complex with each coming day n the confusions never cease...
Sometimes I wonder ain’t we even given the right to make the smallest decisions of our lives?? Nothing seems to be in our hands, in our control...yet we often like to believe we can do something about it...
A simple argument brought about many a realizations today...a simple conversation made me think a lot about the way I am with the people around me...maybe all I’m doing is neglecting those who care so much for those who don’t at all...those were the exact words n they stung!! Stung bad! ...
because somewhere I knew they might be true!
As if things weren't enough, I was lectured on how I have this super inferiority complex that makes me feel that I can’t deserve any good and how I doubt life when it brings pleasant surprises along...yeah right!!Next I’ll be told I’m crazy n should be admitted in some asylum...humph!
Life these days is all about arguments..How I should get rid of my trust issues, how I should believe in love, perhaps also...Easter bunny .tooth fairy...And Santa Claus too... (No?? err I thought the rest would follow suit..Lol!!)
And then if I've changed so much, why do i still care? Why does it still hurt to see a close friend going away? Why does it still sting when someone proposes to me n I have to say that I probably can’t take it more than a good friendship??Why is there still a probably?? Why do I still get misty eyed when I watch those "ultra corny" movies which always manage to have a happy ending??Why don’t we in happy endings??? Why has my faith in "good things happen to good people" dwindled so much??
Why does it hit when my family says I've changed?? Why don’t I have anything to say when people ask me for explanations, reasons and advice...even though I did hate it so much myself once upon a time?? why do I go back to being the old pri, vulnerable, naive, ultra sensitive sometimes n then have to remind myself that I’m not the same anymore n that I've changed???
AND then yet again, why do i still wonder bout life...
sigh!
Just going with the flow, taking each day as it comes...
just hoping I don’t get swept away too far... :)
Why does it still come up with new surprises and makes them even more obvious exactly when I’m trying to ignore them??
Why does it put forward choices which I don’t feel like making anymore n yet don’t feel like losing??
True! Life gets all the more complex with each coming day n the confusions never cease...
Sometimes I wonder ain’t we even given the right to make the smallest decisions of our lives?? Nothing seems to be in our hands, in our control...yet we often like to believe we can do something about it...
A simple argument brought about many a realizations today...a simple conversation made me think a lot about the way I am with the people around me...maybe all I’m doing is neglecting those who care so much for those who don’t at all...those were the exact words n they stung!! Stung bad! ...
because somewhere I knew they might be true!
As if things weren't enough, I was lectured on how I have this super inferiority complex that makes me feel that I can’t deserve any good and how I doubt life when it brings pleasant surprises along...yeah right!!Next I’ll be told I’m crazy n should be admitted in some asylum...humph!
Life these days is all about arguments..How I should get rid of my trust issues, how I should believe in love, perhaps also...Easter bunny .tooth fairy...And Santa Claus too... (No?? err I thought the rest would follow suit..Lol!!)
And then if I've changed so much, why do i still care? Why does it still hurt to see a close friend going away? Why does it still sting when someone proposes to me n I have to say that I probably can’t take it more than a good friendship??Why is there still a probably?? Why do I still get misty eyed when I watch those "ultra corny" movies which always manage to have a happy ending??Why don’t we in happy endings??? Why has my faith in "good things happen to good people" dwindled so much??
Why does it hit when my family says I've changed?? Why don’t I have anything to say when people ask me for explanations, reasons and advice...even though I did hate it so much myself once upon a time?? why do I go back to being the old pri, vulnerable, naive, ultra sensitive sometimes n then have to remind myself that I’m not the same anymore n that I've changed???
AND then yet again, why do i still wonder bout life...
sigh!
Just going with the flow, taking each day as it comes...
just hoping I don’t get swept away too far... :)
Song for the moment:
Zindagi kaisi hai paheli ha ee....
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