Parenting Mistakes : My Perception

No offence its just a share ... I am not a Perfect Mommy to lecture on such trivial topics. But yes, I am a mother of one and that definitely makes me eligible to share my experience with other parents. With the 6 years of parenting experience, these are some of the mistakes I found most parents make, including me. Yes, yes. Of course, if I didn’t make these mistakes, how else do you think I would realize them…isn’t it? :-D

1-Giving in to Tantrums

He definitely equips them with a TeraByte or PetaByte processor, because they know how to tackle you before you learn to tackle them. Just weeks old and Lil Pari knew when to make faces, when to scream, who to look at for sympathy, whom to look at to get Mom scolded. She’ll cry uncontrollably turning the house upside down. With this I get bombarded with enormous amount of advice; mostly unsolicited, from none other than the elders of the family and my hubby dearest. The little tiny bomb that you popped out with great difficulty breaking half of your nerves and bones now learns how to make you give in to her tantrums. To avoid the ruckus created by her screams, everyone asks you to give in. Under pressure, you give in. Victory for the little bomb, but the first but sure shot defeat for you.

Lessons Learnt: 

·         Do not give in easily. Let the child wait for a while.

·         Firmly but politely tell your elders to let you find your way into the land of parenting. You’ll make a mistake or two, but you’ll definitely find the right track.

·         Most importantly, ensure that Mr. Right is on your side. The worst feeling is when the partner in crime holds you responsible for every single nasty act of the co-produced product. :-x

2 – Lying in front of the Kid

“Hello….”, I pick up the phone while placing the washed plates in the designated space.

“Ma’am, I am calling from so and so trust and need your help in regards to donations (some NGO).”

“Sorry, I am in a meeting.”, I said immediately disconnecting the phone.

Two days later, Aahana ( my lil Pari) lies about something and upon being questioned again and again, she says,

“Mamma lied two days back and nobody scolded her.” ( Tum ne bhi to bola tha )

Lessons Learnt: 

·         Do not ever lie in front of your toddler. If you do, take the pain to explain the situation making it easy for her to understand the necessity.

·         Apologize when you make a mistake. Don’t make an irrelevant excuse.

3 – The number and frequency of ‘NO’

This is something I learnt from my experience in raising Aahana.

“Don’t climb up the stairs alone. You’ll fall.”

“Don’t pluck the flowers. It’ll hurt you.”

“Don’t drink it. It might be expired.”

“Don’t do this. Don’t do that.”

In an effort to be the perfect Mommy to the perfect Baby, I used to be over-protective and over-possessive. Unfortunately, my excessive love, affection and disciplining made her highly under-confident.

4- Keeping High Expectations

Do not expect so much from the kids that it becomes a burden on them. Accept that they are another individual with a heart and soul of themselves. They are on their way to learn their survival instincts and let them learn it the hard way. They’ll make mistakes and why not, when we do make mistakes at this age. It is silliness that we assume kids to know everything from mannerisms in public places to goody goody talk with complete strangers. Give them space. When I scold Aahana for not behaving well with someone who came home, Lil Love comes up with:

“shanti rakho & meri marzi” 

She sure has picked it from some silly cartoon show, but she definitely knows when and where to use it.

6 – Using Threats

“Finish your food or else you’ll not get to see you favorite cartoon show.”

“Do this right now or you’ll not go to the park.”

We all have out own mood swings, right???

Then, what’s wrong if a child wants to skip a meal or doesn’t want to take a bath at the said time. Once in a while, give it to them. Let them enjoy their freedom too. Do not ever scare or use threats. It affects their personality. I am sure we all agree that they’re already burdened enough and more. Why not give them a little break here and there? Trust me, you’ll treasure the smile and the hugs you get in return. :-)

7 – Getting Old Beforehand

“Papa, dance with me.”

“Mamma, let’s do a race.”

Why should we shy away? Are we that old? And why should old age stop someone. When I see the kids making their grandparents, their Dad and me dance/play/sing with them, it is a very satisfying feeling. Trust me, be a child, with a child and then its,

“Who needs 30+ or Revital of Jiyo Jee Bharke with your own lil ones