Tears are words the heart can’t express

Sometimes emotions take the best of us. I hate my emotions when I am not able to control them. I hate the emotions that make me want to do something that I know is wrong or that will bring bad outcome, but still I just want to do what my heart desires.

I believe one should follow his/ her heart. I believed that until now. Until now when I followed my heart and had to pay a very heavy price for it. A heart which was dead but was alive with someone.. For someone

Sometimes, you want to forget about people, forget about your life, forget about the consequences and just live the moment. Live the moment you have always longed to live.

Why emotions? Why emotions and why me?

“These ruthless emotions are taking the best of me tonight.”

Trying to push these thoughts away from my mind I decide go to crosswords. I come out of my house and the cool, beautiful wind tries to play with my hair. When my hair touches my face, it reminds me of his fingers—his fingers that have touched every part of my face.

It's amazing how I can still feel them. 

I reach the desired destination, fighting across the heavy traffic in Ahmedabad on Sunday evening.

I go to Crosswords but couldn't enter the gate and change my destination to the top floor of the building.

( can be my last day )

I don’t remember when I started walking towards the far corner of the terrace instead of going to crosswords which I thought could divert my emotional turmoil.

But what hooked me was the view of the sun setting which is seductive and I am pulled towards it. I am letting my emotions take control. 

As I approach the highest corner, where I can sit by the wall and see the sun set, my iPod starts playing the song,  “ Koi Jane na”.

 Yeah, like it knew what I was thinking!! I let it play. I let my soul embrace the words as I let my body sit there. The wind is strong here. It plays with my hair and for the first time I don’t care if I look awful because my hair is going all over the place.

I sit and see the sky, the clouds, the sun,  the busy roads, and the hustle bustle of the crowd from the far corner, I sit and I think. The sky turns red in a matter of minutes as if it is on fire. It seems cool in the beginning but if you look closely, it is wickedly red.

Tonight, the sky is just like me. It is calm and cool yet it is burning. It is screaming and burning yet everyone thinks it's so cool###Loudest Mystery

The wind chill is making me cold now. I didn’t realize it would get cold since I was not planning on coming here anyway. I cross my arms in order to generate some warmth but to no avail.

Tonight there is no one to offer his jacket. I don’t have an option to take a jacket or to share one with someone. I know I won’t have that, not for a long time anyway.

Suddenly, I just want to break down and cry. And I cry profusely. I tried to hold it in, but I cried my eyes out

They say a person in any of life’s relations will never be completely free of delusions.

The mere idiotic thoughts….

The fears..

The feelings of Loneliness

“These God damn ruthless emotions…”

Tu nahi tu mera dil udas, 
Mujhe harr ghari hai bas teri aas
Mera dil kahey tu rahay pass pass 
Yeh hai, kaisa deewana pan?!

My heart is sad without you,
I am holding on to hope
My heart cries out for you
What is this madness?

PS: ...you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit.